Saturday, November 27, 2010

The horrifyingly vacant shark-eyed smiling face of Paula Deen (Daily Photo 11.24.10)

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Nik's Gramma went to the hospital with a variety of ailments. She'll be all right. I stopped by her apartment and picked up some things for her while she convalesces: her glasses and a couple of magazines, one of them an issue of Cooking With Paula Deen. I'd never read it before, so therefore wasn't aware that nearly all the articles are written as if Paula Deen wrote them herself, which let's face it is doubtful. She's probably too busy fattening up Americans for the eventual carnivorous alien harvest for that. The prose on even minor articles is larded with Paulaisms, like at least one "y'all!" exclamation point included per sentence. "Gotta" and "wanna" are apparently OK by the copy desk's style guide, and references to her two grown sons and grandson Jack are shoehorned liberally into most paragraphs. There was a recipe inside for roasted nuts made with bacon and caramelized brown sugar. It's quite frightening.

Some other food looks OK, though.

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