Monday, August 23, 2010

Fish and bullshit (Daily Photo 8.22.10)

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Nik and I popped out to Whole Foods to pick up a couple of non-essential items, like jicama.  There's no situation on the planet where you absolutely need jicama -- at least not on the part of the planet I'm from. Whilst browsing the various organic tubers and fronds I sauntered past the fish section and snapped off this shot of snapper and, if you look above, a bass with a cherry tomato in its mouth.  The Whole Foods fishmonger lady gave me the stink-eye as I did it, too, not pleased with my snickering.  She's the one at bottom with the deep red tan.

As always when we visit Whole Foods, Nik and I have to pay a visit to the Bullshit Aisle, where they sell the homeopathic "remedies."  As I've noted before, homeopathy is a load of utter horseshit that cannot possibly work according to our most well-established laws of science, foisted upon sick people who should be obtaining medicine that actually does something.  Nik and I saw a homeopathic "remedy" for poison ivy, which would be a tiny bit of poison ivy oil diluted into 100 parts water, and a drop of that diluted solution mixed into 100 parts water, and a drop of that diluted solution mixed into 100 parts water, and so on, over and over, 30 or more times, at the end of which you're left with just water. You're just as well-off by wishing your rash away, and better off getting some fucking real medicine. It makes me angry to see a store sell snake oil to people who could have real medical problems.

At least the stuff above is for people without any real problems. The "rock water" homeopathic crap is meant to help you "to enjoy life's pleasures rather than stick too rigidly to your ideals or personal habits."  I can help you do that for free: it's called relax a minute. Scleranthus allegedly "allows you to make decisions more easily when you cannot choose between two options."  Not three options or more. Just two. How specific is this piffle? How about a bit of water violet? It's for "people who feel lonely because they have a tendency to appear proud and anti-social." If you feel any of these things and more, put 2 drops of this fluid in a bottle of fresh spring water, mix it, and insert the bottle up your ass.  Lather, rinse, and repeat as needed.

By the way, this stuff is 27% alcohol. If it's relaxation you want, have a shot of brandy instead. At least that's honest.

1 comment:

funderson said...

Honest! What are you, a commie or something?

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