Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Like it? 

This is the definition of "domestication": If my dogs didn't have me around, they wouldn't last an hour.

What do I mean by that? If the gate to the backyard is ever left open, they'd run out -- probably right into the traffic, where they'd be smooshed by a car within minutes. If we didn't keep the knives in the knife block, they'd eat them, for no other reason than they look interesting. If my wife wasn't there to pull knots of pillow stuffing out of their assholes when they've torn up their beds, they'd get some kind of obstruction.

Or, Stanley ate a bunch of tarps. Disposable plastic tarps. We had a bag of them, and he took them out and started chewing them and dragging them all over the house. Since when are plastic tarps delicious? Why tarps? It's like a kid playing with a plastic laundry bag.

Latest thing: I'm in the living room, and I hear Myrna in the dining room rolling on her back on the carpet. She does that -- I have no idea why. Then, a few minutes later, she's softly whining. She does that too, so I ignore it. Maybe 20 minutes go by, and I get up and happen to pass the dining room.

Myrna had somehow gotten her collar stuck into the rug. She can't get out, because it's hooked in there good, and she's lying there with a corner of the rug folded over her face. She's just stuck there, on her side, looking pretty much resigned to the fact that she's never getting up again. You could see her giving up. As in: That's it -- I live like this now. I used to be able to walk once, but now I have a rug on my face.

I didn't have the presence of mind to take a picture of this -- I just unhooked her collar, and she ran off and did something else boneheaded where we had to save her from certain doom.

You ever see those YouTube videos where a dog gets a box stuck on his head? I can't stand to watch those things for more than a few seconds -- they freak me out. That's why this one lasts less than a minute, and the dog gets it off.

For balance, this is a person who gets her head stuck in a desk. It's not clear by the end of the video what happens. Kid might still be there for all I know, eating through a straw.


Nicole said...

Good story - too bad you didn't take a picture (as you mentioned). But you did a very good job describing the circumstances! Poor creatures, lucky to have such nice parents :D

Gordon said...

I really am trying to stop thinking of Nik extracting pillow stuffing from a dog's arse. Now I have to give a lecture in 10 minutes and all I'm gonna think about is this scene. Thanks. A. Bunch.

Jumile said...

Man, this post cracked me up. :)

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