Thursday, September 20, 2007

Overheard assholes: "Lighthouses"

Like it? 
PERSON 1: "She collects lighthouses."
PERSON 2: "She collects lighthouses?"
PERSON 1: "She collects lighthouses."


— posh-looking mother, to another posh-looking woman,
pointing at her posh-looking toddler daughter

who was dangling dangerously off the edge of a 10-foot wall
above the beach
in Jamestown, Rhode Island

5 comments:

New England Bites said...

I really love this part of your blog. It really brings to light the kind of place we live in. Not to steal your thunder, but I have an O.A. comment for you that is funny NOW, but wasn't while it was actually happening:

"Stop fooling around!"

- my father, to my sister, age 4 or so, who was choking on pizza at Papa Gino's.

Why do parents always think you're acting a fool when you're actually in pain?

Dan said...

That made my day, Laura. Thanks. I laughed my ass off. "Stop fooling around." I can't tell you how many times I've seen that same scene. And lived it. My grandfather and I were once taking some stuff out of my car trunk, and he slammed it shut on my finger. Then, with tears blurring my vision, he asked, "Why the hell'd you put your hand there for?"

New England Bites said...

Oh man!!! That is the worst! Especially when they expect you to carry on like your hand wasn't purple and throbbing. My father, around the same time as the Papa Gino's incident, told me to "knock it off" during a time when a case of the hiccups wore out its welcome on a long car ride. Apparently, he thought I was doing it on purpose. Since I was too young to say, "Dad, it's an involuntary spasm of my diaphragm," I just started crying.

Coincidentally, he did not receive a World's Greatest Dad mug that year.

Kelly Kirch said...

My dad said "knock it off" when I complained that my head hurt because my brother was whacking me in the noggin. I remember thinking, "Knock it off? My head?"

New England Bites said...

Heard another one for ya:

Mother: "If you don't stop, your friends aren't coming over."
Young daughter: "I hate my friends."

I guess that was the kid's form of a "so there" comment to her mom. The mother was speechless. I mean, where do you go from there?

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